i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
