Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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