The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
