You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He has the fingertips of a God
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