he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
