the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
