got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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