Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
birth control should be required to get into college
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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