Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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