There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
