Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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