why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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