You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize