"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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