he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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