community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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