yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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