just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
