You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
