i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
