I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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