I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
