I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize