i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
