I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have demons in me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
