is your mom at the bar?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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