Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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