Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
