he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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