I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
