Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
