i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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