I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...