I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.