I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
