Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
