Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize