You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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