im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
