why didn't you poke me back
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
