you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
