Just cropdusted the office
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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