btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
