Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
