No awkward lesbian experiences without me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
