Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize