So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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