He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
