I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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