Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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