Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
