she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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