I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
