she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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