i can't believe i had my finger in that
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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