Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
