He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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