Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
