he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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