My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize