my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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