She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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