He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
