Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
