so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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