Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
