If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
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Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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